Blended Family

blended family

If you are in a blended family, then you already know just how difficult it can be, but I promised you answers….

Here is the list of questions to be answered:

The challenges in this blended family are plentiful. Many times you may be asking:

  • Does he or she love my child less that his or her own?
    • It is common to ask this, and common for the answer to be “yes.” Sometimes we have to face the reality that there is a stronger bond between children and their biological parents. Does this mean it is a problem? No, only if you let it.
  • Does he or she discipline the children equally?
    • Children are people, and people are different. The interaction between a step-parent and child should be filled with support and understanding. The step-parent should not attempt to take the place of the biological parent. Step-parents must take the roll of setting examples for all the children with love and support.
  • Is favoritism being given to the biological child by the biological parent?
    • It should never be obvious that the child of the biological parent favors the child. This will cause resentment among the family members, and not help anyone.
  • Who should be the main disciplinarian?
    • In most cases, the biological parent.
  • Why am not accepted by the non-biological child as their new mom or dad?
    • Because you are not the new mom or dad. Show unconditional love to all the children, be a role model, but don’t try and replace biological parents.

This is not meant to be a handbook for dealing with your blended family issues, it is meant to be a few questions that may help but not a replacement for family therapy.

So, Why Do I Need Family Therapy For My Blended Family?

If your blended family is experiencing familial bliss, then you do not need it. Just make sure you are not in denial. Speak with your children often, speak with your spouse, and make sure all is well before you dismiss this.

However, if you are experiencing any of the problems listed (or any that are not listed), thenĀ I urge you to contact me so that we can begin to solve some of the issues you are having. Remember, the children should not suffer because of this relationship. This relationship should, and can, produce healthy and balanced young adults.

In looking for a family therapist, make sure that the therapist will meet your needs. Most people Google terms like “family counselor,” “family therapist,” etc. The list of therapists is long and confusing. Just because a listing is on top, doesn’t mean they are the best. It sometimes means that they spend more money on Google than others.

Why Lou Carfizzi?

I am a licensed psychotherapist which means that I not only do “counseling,” I know how to effectively use psychotherapy to help you change your thinking in a manner that will give you peace and success.

I am also trained in Christian Counseling for those who want spirituality influenced therapy from a Christian world view.

Psychology has been a passion of mine since I can remember being exposed to it in high school.

I have a solid 22 year marriage that produced a 21 year old son. We have endured great times and hard times, but we survived and I can help you do the same. Although my family is not blended, I have counseled many families in my 15 years of experience with an impressive success rate.

Call me: 404-933-4745

or contact me below.

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1 comment on “Blended Family”

  1. Becky Brown Reply

    I am struggling with living in my husband’s home he shared with his wife and raised his 3 kids with here who are grown now. She died 9 years ago, we’ve been married almost 4 years. His 21 year old son still lives here and I just moved in here about 3 months ago after my youngest daughter graduated and married. Yes we got married and didn’t live together until now because my daughter was still in high school and my son moved back in 2 years later after dropping out of college. I love Christmas and can’t help think how am I going to have my kids here at his home for Christmas when he has Christmas with his kids here on Christmas morning. I don’t know what to do-i really just think I want my own home with my Christmas decorations and kids on Christmas so we can enjoy it too. His home is full of his kids pictures and even when I look at his refrigerator with all his kids artwork and pictures on there i get sad because I think I don’t have that anymore where I had my kids things around. I know it’s dumb thinking all this but I really am wondering what to do- I’m not happy with the situation and I don’t even feel comfortable when my 2 young grandkids come stay the night with me here-my oldest daughter who is their mom has never been here-i just meet her and pick the kids up and bring them here. My middle child is my son who is 23 and lives with my folks while I am trying to get him medical help for what I think is Aspergers. He was living with me until I moved in with my husband. I even wanted him to live with me here til he gets on his feet but he said it would be awkward because he doesn’t know my husband’s son who lives here. And also my husband never has said Hey how bout your son move here too until he gets on his feet. So I feel weird about all this and probably getting resentful a bit toward my husband about not understanding how I feel about all this. I just know I miss having a home where my kids can come see me and be at home. Guess I’m thinking I’m 52 and maybe deserve to be happy too after going through 2 divorces . I don’t want a divorce but I think I want to be happy with my kids and grandkids too. His house is just not mine too and I’ve not been in this situation before where I know what to do. I’ve got boxes of my things here but no place to put stuff in the kitchen really because of all his stuff in the kitchen and heck I would feel dumb putting my kids pictures on the wall where his kids have been for years. And it’s also decorated I guess like his wife had before when she lived here-nothing of mine to feel at home. I just feel like giving up on this -not sure I’m even explaining right now the feelings I have about it-and don’t even know what to say to my husband-he knows it’s not home to me because I’ve told him that-to me it’s like he didn’t have to change anything when we got married but I had to change it all. I would appreciate any advice you have to give. To be honest I was hoping we could as a family have our own home together and make it ours together, but that will never happen as he’s always wanted to live here since he was a kid since he was raised out by here-he moved this big old house out here when his kids were little-still needs a lot of work inside done and yep I would like a newer, nicer smaller house. Thank you for your help.

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